Where Did She Go?

sinus headache

Did you ever feel like your head was going to explode or your eyes pop out of your skull? This is how I’m feeling on this third day of what I’m sure might be the plague.

First of all, I’m not one to get ill often. Usually, I feel as if I might be coming down with something and the next day I will feel fine. I have always just pushed through feeling bad or not up to snuff. That’s how I was raised. If I stayed home from school, by God, I stayed in bed. No TV and no up and about the house. Mom made sure staying home sick was worse than going to school.

I carried this ethic ( if you choose to call this madness an ethic) into my working years. If I got up and didn’t feel well, I just sucked it up and went on my way. There have been more than two times in my life I finally gave in and went to the doctor’s from work, to be told I had pneumonia. Not the smartest thing I have ever done, but on the other hand, not the dumbest thing either. That’s another story to be told, one day.

Here I am, into the third day of what I’m diagnosing a sinus infection or maybe a head cold, and I’m wimping out. I’m trying to convince myself it’s because I’m retired, and there is no need to suck it up, get dressed and get my butt to work. Could retirement of four years turn me into a wimp? Where did my suck it up go?

The first night of coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose I was searching every drawer and cupboard for any OTC drugs we might have. I was telling my husband my eyes were going to pop out of my skull if I didn’t get some relief. I was praying I would never need to swallow again as my throat had been set on fire. My nose looked like Rudolph’s, and there were no tissues with lotion in the house.

What has happened to me? When I was twenty, I would have been at the local bar drowning the germs with beer. Why even when I was fifty, I would have still pushed on and kept my regular schedule.  Today, it’s almost noon; I’m still in my PJs, and I’m tired from sitting at my computer and typing.

For the piece of mind, I’m just going to say, that strong, push through anything woman is still inside of me, but she has decided during retirement there is no need for extra ordinary actions during a cold or sinus infection. I have nowhere to be. I have no time card to punch. I have no one else to answer to except myself. And, if I don’t feel like getting dressed I can stay in my PJs the whole day.

I have not turned into a whiny little crybaby. I’ve  just elected not to release superwoman at this time. At my age, I’ll save her for something more important.

Now will someone please bring me some hot tea and some tissues with lotion in them?



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