Torn Between Two Loves

cropped sunset

As the sun set west of Vaughn Montana, I longed for the company of my husband. The golden rays reminded me of all the sunsets we had shared so many times when we lived in that very spot. I had cussed the Montana winds when we lived there and yet I found myself missing them when I moved away. A brief, sweat sniff of fresh-cut hay caught the wind from somewhere miles away.

How I had missed this place and the people I considered my friends. I stood with my daughter watching the sun disappear behind the horizon, still thinking of my family in Arizona. I find myself torn between two places, two families, and two lives. We humans are so fickle. Before my feet are walking on Montana soil, I find myself missing Arizona. When I set down in Arizona, I find myself longing for Montana.

They say home is where the heart is but what happens when your heart is torn between two places divides even the strongest. I keep telling myself that the longer I’m away from Montana, the easier it becomes, but I believe I’m lying to myself. On the other hand, coming back to Arizona this time was easier. That might only have been because my husband didn’t travel with me. If he had been in Montana with me, I may have tried to talk him into staying. I can’t say for sure.

My little corner of the Arizona desert is very quiet and peaceful. I was treated to several cooler days when I arrived home this week, in fact cooler and a very nice breeze. So nice, we could sit out on the patio and enjoy the evenings. If you have ever been to Arizona in the summer, you understand just how much of a treat that can be. Maybe Arizona was just reminding me of her beauty, as she was jealous of the joy that flooded over me when we began our descent over the mountains flying into Great Falls.

Arizona is right. She is as beautiful as Montana, just in different ways. I have grown to appreciate both places. I have to admit, I am in love with both places, both families and all ties. I have learned to embrace it all.

How fortunate I am to love two places so very different from each other and to have loved ones in both places. Until next time Montana, know that I’m healthy and happy in Arizona, and surrounded by love and beauty.


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