On this Father’s Day I find myself remembering some of the simple things my daddy taught me:
Don’t catch the softball with your face, use your glove.
Don’t try to hit the badminton birdie with your forehead, use your racket.
Don’t try to swing standing up hands free.
Life isn’t fair, suck it up and press on.
Act like a dumbass you’ll get treated like a dumbass.
The metal slide is very hot in the summer.
Lake water in Michigan is too cold to swim in April.
Lake Superior is too cold to swim in all summer long in most places.
Peanut butter and banana sandwiches are good for any meal.
Cold dill pickles eaten on a hot summer’s day under a shade tree is a real treat.
Put your damn shoes on when walking through clover if you don’t want to be stung by a honey bee.
Act like a brat in public and you will get a knot snatched in your tail in public.
I thought it was physically impossible for him to kick my ass up between my shoulder blades and I put him to the test when I was about 19. I never did that again.
Spanking you hurts me more than it does you.
Be careful putting your worm on the hook, it doesn’t know the difference between your fingers and the worm.
Watch out for the catfish’s whiskers, they will sting you.
Don’t ever shoot or kill anything you are not going to eat.
Never point a gun at anyone unless you are prepared to use it.
Stay off those damn motor cycles before you get hurt or dead.
Don’t get dead, it lasts a long time.
Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.
Think about what you are going to do before you do it.
Make plans but be prepared to change all of them at a moments notice.
For crying out loud, learn from your mistakes the first time you make them!
Although, he laughed at me many times when I would do something silly or darn right stupid, he taught me it was perfectly alright to laugh at ourselves. Human are pretty damn funny if you watch us. He could make me laugh at my lowest and bring me down when I got too big for my britches. Both done with love. Poor Daddy, I’m still working on some of these things and have added a few more to your list.